C.L.A.W. 7

On Tuesday, August 12, C.L.A.W. took over the back lot of the Blue Moon Diner to raise money for Food Not Bombs, and once again, an outrageously good time was had by all.
Tragedy Ann vs. The School Marm
Charlottesville Lady Arm Wrestlers is the brainchild of Jennifer Tidwell – a.k.a. MC Rosie the Wrist Twister – and for this warped stroke of genius she deserves major accolades. Charlottesville has seen its share of groovy alternative scenes, but C.L.A.W. is, by far, the most entertaining. Not to mention lucrative. And for charity!

C.L.A.W. is everything pro wrestling wishes it was. Pure cotton candy diversion featuring epic ridiculous characters battling it out on a table littered with payola.

Here’s the skinny: Admission is free. (But show up on time – they have a limit on entrants, and it fills up fast.) The dollars come in through the purchase of $1 CLAWBUCKS which are then used to back a wrestler, bribe a ref, bribe the judges, bribe the band. Whatever. Bribe somebody already.

The ladies do, indeed, arm wrestle. But matches often fall to questionable calls from the ref or celebrity judges. (Jim Waive, for one, is an Official Life-Time Celebrity Judge who understands the value of a well-greased palm.)

Dueling Penalty Boxes

Interestingly, when it comes to wrestling, the best are rarely the stoutest – women with thin arms can seriously throw down. I’ve seen some sinewy extremities that could easily tear off an arm and beat you with it. (I heard that line at a pro wresting show in Kansas City in the ’80s. But that guy was serious. Chilling.)

The show starts with the C.L.A.W. theme, “I Love My C.L.A.W.,” played by house band Straight Punch to the C.L.A.W. (Crotch). The ref then explains the rules. Long-winded, silly and authoritative. The wrestlers and their managers and entourages are introduced with grand entrances and theme music. Purple Haze rides in on a motorcyle. Jock (b)Itch recieves an injection from her manager, Jimmy the Geek. The burka-clad goat-herder’s wife is led in at gunpoint. (Questionable taste? Why not?)

Eight wrestlers boil down elimination-style to one victor, in this case, Tragedy Ann, who recieved her first title and trophy – a small basket of vegetables – with relish. The losers seem chipper, too. I’m pretty sure it’s fixed, anyway.

Victory Veggies

More pics can be found over at my flickr photostream.

I also recommend Billy Hunt’s excellent photos.

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One Response to “C.L.A.W. 7”

  1. […] links >> charlottesville Selecting jurors using Facebook Saved by swan0126 on Fri 31-10-2008 C.L.A.W. 7 Saved by holin on Fri 31-10-2008 Day Trip To Charlottesville Saved by Tigralon on Fri 31-10-2008 […]

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